marley&me

i just got back from the movies... or the "cinema" as some might call it. i watched marley & me. you know, that one about the dog, with owen wilson and jennifer aniston.

the movie was pretty good all throughout, funny and cute and all that.. and then at the end it was HELLAsad. but like.. the kind of sad that makes it really good. oh my! i've never actually cried while watching a movie up until tonight. of course, i've gotten the welling-up of the eyes, and the tightness in the throat before; but at the end of this movie, i couldn't keep my cheeks dry, and i had to fight hard against my facial muscles so that I didn't actually look like i was BAWLING MY EYES OUT  ...so i'm guessing i looked like i really needed to use the bathroom.. really, really bad... or something to that effect. ANYWAY, it was just, so sad, and i cried.. which i don't do often (lololol).

(THIEVED from "NyXta" on DeviantArt)

so then after i drove kara home, i was heading back home, and i was just in one of those moods. those ones where you just stare off and think. IDK, the HELLAsadness of the movie made me do it. but it wasn't like GAHHH I'M SO DEPRESSED! it was more like... hmm, i'm thinking about a lot of things. so rather than taking the normal route home, i took a bit of a detour. 

actually, i took a BIG detour. like, adding at least an extra half hour to my what-would-be 5- to 10-minute commute.

it was really foggy. it's been foggy all day here. and it was just really pretty. the glow of the street lights and passing cars. there was just this gentle ambience about it all. it fostered perfect conditions for thinking.

so that's what i did. i thought. it's something i haven't been doing a lot of lately, what with the hustle and bustle of the holidays.. and wHatnot. i just thought about a whole bunch of things. pondering this and that. it was actually really nice. of course, i tried not to get to tangled up in my thoughts, for i still had a motorized vehicle to pay attention to, as to avoid ending up in a ditch or sommat.

it was just a really nice drive. :)

i must try to have more of these - if i can get my hands on my own car someday.

i think i will go read Twilight now (..yes. i've jumped the Twilight bandwagon... WUT), and then slumber.

g'night. :)

♥C.

PS: i hope you all had a wonderful christmas slash other holidays you may have celebrated (ie: Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, etc.)!

i'm home!!

actually i've been home since about 9 o'clock last night, but whatev.

i've actually never been so happy to be home in my life!
this past set of exams has absolutely KILLED me. but i got through them, and i'm home now :)

OMGGGGG. so, since i had my last exam yesterday (which, i may add, was my hardest one), i haven't had ANY time to work on the blog'n christmas gifts! :( i have something put together as of now, and i'm still going to pick up a few things, but it just sucks because i never really got a chance to put whole lot of thought into these gifts. and my gifts totally PALE in comparison to some of your guys'. stupid exams running until the 17th of december :\

oh well. i mean, i'm sure between everyone else's gifts that you'll be receiving, mine will fit in somewhere. :)


in other news...
.......
i can't remember the other news! AHH!
last night (at like 2.00AM) i was like... OH! i need to blog about this! and now i can't even remember what it was.
OH WELL! i don't have school right now, so whenever i think of it, i can blog it whenever i please! :D

hmm.. i may remember it later today, then post it... IDK.
(or maybe i won't remember it at all, maybe it's just a figment of my imagination... my brain is totally fried from two weeks of NONstop studying anyways...)

anyways, i must get going. i have to have these gifts ready by later today so that we can finally mail them off! eek! i'm so excited!



♥C.

tag, i'm it!

i dun gone get tagged by beckyyyy!

Rules: Answer all of the questions with a word that begins with the same latter that either your name, blogger ID, or blog name begins with.

1. What is your name: Colin

2. A 4-letter word: coin

3. A boy's name: Cedric

4. A girl's name: Courtney

5. An occupation: CIA Agent SPY

6. A colour: cyan (heck, what do i know, i'm colour blind!)

7. Something you wear: cardigan

8. A beverage: cream soda (seaman's, of course)

9. A food: choco-chip cookies! :)

10. Something found in the bathroom: comb.

11. A place: CANADA!

12. A reason for being late: car accident (minor, of course) 

13. Something you shout: CRAZY DRIVER! (at the person causing the car accident, making me late for class)

and now i taggggggggggg: kirsj.™(even though he's currently in NB), Sam, and Carrrrrole!

dear santa,

karen had the perfect idea for the holiday season of having a BLOG'N CHRISTMAS! we write five small things, and five big things that we want, and exchange gifts! and later we're having a skype/stickam love fest! :D    i can't wait!

i've been a very good boy this year. my five small things and five big things are below. i know it's a lot, but please do the best you can!

five small things:

• coins/small change from your country

• any piece of art that you made (ie: drawing/painting/doodle...) to put on my wall

• either a mix CD OR a list of songs that you recommend i check out

• a special note [preferably handwritten :)] from you to me. it can be anything from a "hi, how are you?" to a "these are a few things about me that you didn't already know!" ... anything! it's up to you :)

• any sort of otherwise useless trinket. i like trinkets, of any kind. what defines a trinket? idk.. just something you think is trinket-esque.

five big things:

• reassurance

• confidence

• acceptance

• love

• guidance

thanks, santa!

♥,C.

PS: sorry it's so late!!!!

note to self..

BLOG'N TOMORROW night

slash maybe friday

(wishlist will be posted!)

it'll be soon i promise!!!!!1

:: cuz i dun want no robocop. ur movin like a robocop. 

    when did you become a robocop? now i dun need no robocop.

♥C.

silhouette.

...whatever.

i don't even care.

(why should i?)

i just don't know.

i don't know what to do. //

(how should you?)

why must things be like this?

(so confusing, these thoughts.)

too much. too much. too much.

too much. too much.

too much.

(can we just get it over with?)

have you got it in you??!!

the question is: do i have it in ME???

maybe i'll just hide until it's all over. stealth mode for me. 

i'm quite good at that, really. 

i'll become all haggard-like. and i will live off bread crusts and whatever else i can lay my hands on.

i will remain in hiding so that they do not find me.

(for that would by my inevitable fate)

stop looking at me! you'll never find me anyway. what's the use?

trust me: i'm not worth it.

i'm merely a silhouette. 

(i'd better make that last lamp post well worth it..)

please, don't make this harder than it already is.

this is not what i planned. at all.

get me out of here.

i'll find my way back down. eventually.

whatever. there's nothing left to salvage anyway..

Goodnight! :)

♥C.

maybe i'll live in a cardboard box..

recent events have left me wondering where i'm going to be living next year...

originally, i was going to be living in a house with e&b and probably one other person. that would have been great! and fun times would have been had. i was really looking forward to it! but then, for some reason still unbeknownst to me, that plan backfired. 

disappointment and confusion ensued.

but it was ok. not all was lost. i was invited to live with the b&k couple, along with two other hets. at first, i liked the idea. i mean, i was living off campus, in a house, with friends. great! but then i got to thinking. all these people were hets - heterosexual guys at that, except for brittany. she's not a guy. but at least two of these guys are quite homophobic from what i can tell, and the other one, i'm not so sure. 

i got to thinking of how much a dilemma this would cause for me, because, to my knowledge, none of these people know i'm gay. in addition, although i come off as a pretty "straight" guy (so i've been told) i have this stupid tendency to act even more straight when i'm around straight guys. i'm not completely sure why i do this, but i think it has something to do with my fear of rejection, the fear that if they knew i was gay they wouldn't want to be around me. this is a dilemma for me because i know that if i lived with these people for the whole year, i'd never get to be myself. i'd be acting "straight colin" as i've done many a time before.

i'd never get to be myself, and i know i'd end up feeling terribly oppressed (too strong a word? idk.) i debated in my head what would be the better thing to do: just suck it up and just live with these people, and hope that it wouldn't be so bad; or apply for Governor's Hall (single-room residence for upper years), which would involve running the risk of not even getting accepted. although i flipped back and forth, i think i eventually settled on sucking it up, and living with the hets.

but then, all of a sudden the other two hets got girlfriends! just, outta nowhurr. this would now mean that in addition to the brittany&kyle, the other two would be couples as well! ... and then colin. i thought, "oh, PERFECT!" i've already seen a couple of my friends go through being single whilst living in a house with a bunch of cute couples.     = SUXXORZ.

whatever. i was still prepared to just suck it up and hope for the best..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OH! of course that wouldn't work out either! because brittany decided that she was going to apply for pharmacy school (after your second year of your B.Sc. you can apply to get into pharmacy, rather than doing your four full years of your B.Sc.)! now, i'm happy for her and everything - don't get me wrong. she seemed to be really interested in it, and i'm glad she finally found something she'd like to do. but this just means that my plans backfire yet AGAIN. because if she leaves, then kyle leaves with her, and then the whole plan falls apart, because there's no way i'd just live with the other two couples well - i hardly know them!

GAHHHHH!!!

i'm just a lil frustrated is all.    and panicking because i have no idea where i'm going to live next year. i'm just wishing things would work out in my favour, for once.

so i've decided that i'm just going to live in a cardboard box: cheap, reliable, and i don't have to worry about it ditching on me.

(but what if it blows away one stormy night?)

then i'm completely effed.

oh well. i have faith that things will fall into place. it would be NICE to have a roof over my head, but if not, then that just means less expenses on top of tuition! :D

♥C.