"so i haven't blogged in a while..."

someone (or more?) will get that. :)

first and foremost, i would like to apologize for how uninteresting and essentially querulous this blog is. if you wish not to read of complaining about life, i advise you to ditch, because that's where this is headed.

life frustrates me right now. things aren't so great. school is currently pissing me off. no, not school in general; i like it. but ecology, a GAY-ASS course i'm in that's so boring and i absolutely HATE it. what's more, is that the lab component for it is even worse. it's like, "hey! let's go count things until we're dead via monotony! and THEN [in afterlife of course] we'll statistically examine these data, in order to put a number to diversity, or population growth, etc....!" does that not make you throw-up a lil in your mouth? the instructors totally grease you solid on the lab assignments too. like, there's absolutely no way of getting anything above an 80 in the lab because they TRY to find something to pick out of your assignment to mark you wrong on. case and point: on the last one i got back, apparently i didn't include these "error bars" things. WHAT ON EARTH ARE THOSE?! i certainly haven't a clue! but apparently i didn't include them, and i should have. anyway, the straw to this story is the midterm i got back today in this class. i knew i didn't do as well as i'd hoped. the exam totally raped me. i figured i was in the 60's range, at worst. well, turns out, such was not the case. TRY 40%. i failed. i failed the exam. failure. it's not something i've ever become accustomed to, academically. in fact, this was the first midterm/exam i've ever failed. i felt sick to my stomach when i saw that big red 40% scrawled on the inside of the booklet. what's worse, is that the prof put up a bar graph of the ranges of the marks (he WOULD do that... effing ecology professor..) from the midterm, and noted that this had been the largest percentage of above-90 marks he'd seen in the course. i couldn't believe just how poorly i'd done, especially with a class average of 65!! that's pretty damn high. i think about it now, and i could even live with a high-40, if not a pass. but nope. 40%. EPIC FAIL.

phew. it feels a little better to get that out of the way. i'm trying not to let this bog me down too much. you couldn't tell if you saw me in person though. i hide my emotions too well :) i think i will call mama soon. she seems to make everything better. i will also choose to look at the brighter side of things: i think the midterm was only weighted at 15% of the overall mark; i can study very hard for the final exam and end up with an OK mark for the course.

i'm sorry i didn't write about anything a little more meaningful than how angry i am at life today. but, like i've said, this is my journal, so i will write what i want. :)

let's have some fun, this beat is sick. i wanna take a ride on your disco stick.

damn you, Lady GaGa. why must your beatz be so catchy.. and your lyrics so subtle..

♥c.