"so i haven't blogged in a while..."

someone (or more?) will get that. :)

first and foremost, i would like to apologize for how uninteresting and essentially querulous this blog is. if you wish not to read of complaining about life, i advise you to ditch, because that's where this is headed.

life frustrates me right now. things aren't so great. school is currently pissing me off. no, not school in general; i like it. but ecology, a GAY-ASS course i'm in that's so boring and i absolutely HATE it. what's more, is that the lab component for it is even worse. it's like, "hey! let's go count things until we're dead via monotony! and THEN [in afterlife of course] we'll statistically examine these data, in order to put a number to diversity, or population growth, etc....!" does that not make you throw-up a lil in your mouth? the instructors totally grease you solid on the lab assignments too. like, there's absolutely no way of getting anything above an 80 in the lab because they TRY to find something to pick out of your assignment to mark you wrong on. case and point: on the last one i got back, apparently i didn't include these "error bars" things. WHAT ON EARTH ARE THOSE?! i certainly haven't a clue! but apparently i didn't include them, and i should have. anyway, the straw to this story is the midterm i got back today in this class. i knew i didn't do as well as i'd hoped. the exam totally raped me. i figured i was in the 60's range, at worst. well, turns out, such was not the case. TRY 40%. i failed. i failed the exam. failure. it's not something i've ever become accustomed to, academically. in fact, this was the first midterm/exam i've ever failed. i felt sick to my stomach when i saw that big red 40% scrawled on the inside of the booklet. what's worse, is that the prof put up a bar graph of the ranges of the marks (he WOULD do that... effing ecology professor..) from the midterm, and noted that this had been the largest percentage of above-90 marks he'd seen in the course. i couldn't believe just how poorly i'd done, especially with a class average of 65!! that's pretty damn high. i think about it now, and i could even live with a high-40, if not a pass. but nope. 40%. EPIC FAIL.

phew. it feels a little better to get that out of the way. i'm trying not to let this bog me down too much. you couldn't tell if you saw me in person though. i hide my emotions too well :) i think i will call mama soon. she seems to make everything better. i will also choose to look at the brighter side of things: i think the midterm was only weighted at 15% of the overall mark; i can study very hard for the final exam and end up with an OK mark for the course.

i'm sorry i didn't write about anything a little more meaningful than how angry i am at life today. but, like i've said, this is my journal, so i will write what i want. :)

let's have some fun, this beat is sick. i wanna take a ride on your disco stick.

damn you, Lady GaGa. why must your beatz be so catchy.. and your lyrics so subtle..

♥c.

3AM and wide awake.

it's 3AM and i'm still awake.

i cannot sleep. i lay here, eyes closed, yet mr. sandman cannot find me. he must've gotten lost on the way and then just gave up. sleep isn't finding me anytime soon.

there's just too much on my mind - clouding up my brain. i wish this fog would dissipate. i'm supposed to write a midterm tomorrow (later today..?) so i'd like to be fully conscious for that.

the movie se7en is on. you know, the one with the serial killer and the seven deadly sins. i think it's getting to the part where they find a supposedly dead body, but it turns out to be a severely tortured man. i'ma change the channel because this part creeps the HELL out of me. *changed* oh, seinfeld is on! this show cracks me up. elaine is my fave i think. she's just so rediculous. :)

*sigh* i think i'm gonna attempt sleep once more.

i hope mr. sandman finds his way out of that hazy mist...

♥c.

studystudystudy midtermzz

it is currently 8.30 in the evening. i've been studying straight since, oh, about 1.30 this afternoon. my brain feels like it's about to EXPLODE. but i guess seven straight hours of animal biology will do that to you.

the plan was to study until 10.00, when i was gonna order pizza and watch Fight Club with some peeps. but right now, i'm not feeling another hour and a half of torture. my midterm is on monday, so that still leaves all tomorrow to study. but, wait, i have a chem lab report due as well. damn. and, i have that english midterm on thursday. hmm..   meh. this jigsaw will fall into place. i'm not gonna worry too much.

well that's quite enough complaining i think. i'm excited to watch Fight Club. i've never seen. also, brad pitt is in it and that makes me happy. also, alexander's pizza makes me happy. they make damn good pizza. 

hmm what else to write about. i hear robbie williams playing in the hall. i think i like this song. it's hard to study when people are being loud and drunk in the halls. this weekend that's not me. nope. gotta study. there will be time for sweet intoxication on thursday, right after my english midterm.   :O   now they're playing "bittersweet symphony"! i love that song. 

well anyway. i really must be going. i'll put another hour in. i think i will read over Anglo-Saxon culture and the heroic code. then i will be done. it'll be lovely.

♥c.

YAY! a new procrastinating tool!

oh hai.

so i've decided to start blogging. first time ever. i've always looked at blogging as something people do who have too much time on their hands, and was just silly hogwash.

i wouldn't say that i have too much time on my hands, but i will say that i've decided to hit this up anyway. of course, i could be spending my time more wisely - studying, going to the gym... basically anything productive - but alas, i find myself sitting here, typing away, as vikki tells me, "It's four-o'clock." i love vikki. she keeps me up to date on things.

because i haven't been spending as much time lost in youtube land as i've previously found myself, of course i had to find something new to keep me away from this "productivity" nonsense. one would think that 42 subscriptions to various vloggers and viral video makers would keep anyone busy and away from the books, but lately i just haven't been feeling the rush of going to my home page to see if any of my subs have added new videos like i used to.

this blogging thing sounds interesting. it's mostly just something for me. something for me to get my thoughts down, rather than keeping them stored in this simple noggin of mine like i've always done. sort of like a journal. yes, a journal. i like that. 'cept.. it's a journal that just anyone can read.. oh well. i won't be too explicit.

yes, i think blogging will be good for me. i can get my feelings out on the table, so that they don't get in the way of my studies - much like this is right now.

that will be all for now. 

♥c.